The Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch (A Most Pious Prop!)

Behold, brave knights and faithful pilgrims, for you gaze upon a replica of the one, the only, the legendary Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch! Forged not by mortal hands, but by... well, let's just say it looks divinely crafted in glorious gold, adorned with intricate, blessed patterns and the finest white beads, all topped with a most righteous, jeweled cross.

This is not some common explosive, oh no! This is the very same sacred implement as described in the Book of Armaments, Chapter 2, Verses 9 to 21. Its purpose? To smite your foes, whether they be fiendish rabbits with nasty, big, pointy teeth, or particularly annoying Frenchmen.

 Remember its sacred instructions, for they are crucial to its proper deployment: "Then, lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it." And, most importantly, "Thou shalt count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out."

 Acquire this divine prop, and bring a touch of the absurdly sacred (and potentially explosive) to your collection, your next costume, or simply as a reminder to always count to three! It’s a truly magnificent piece for anyone who appreciates fine craftsmanship and the undeniable power of historical (and comedic) artifacts!